Science Stares Into The Abyss!

Darwin Awards Newsletter: 13 May 2022

Black Hole at Center of Milky Way Galaxy

Event Horizon Telescope Collaboration/National Science Foundation...

Our Patron Saint Charles Darwin was a scientist and observer of natural phenomenon. And so, let us segue to the most exciting scientific discovery ever. We now have a baby-picture of the Black Hole lurking at the center of our galaxy! Readers, meet Star Sag A (say ‘sadge’) the ‘Gentle Giant’ and Big Brother star to our little Star Sol, who keeps our galaxy on track.

Telescoop! Science Is Sexy.

Greg¹—who wizards the darwinawards.com—is a co-author and has worked on the Sag A project since pre-Covid. We are thrilled about the success of the Event Horizon Telescope Telescope Collab and look forward to the day the scientists learn the answer to, "What happens when The Universe Divides By Zero?”

From one extreme to another…

“Mommy where do Darwin Awards come from?”

“Darling child,
the Darwin Awards are made *of the people, *by the people, and *for the people.”

Darwin Awards burst from the bowels of the Internet (some say from the gonads) as the budding AI’s first successful attempt at humor. And The Slush Pile was the heart of the community. Recent Slush Submissions, among hundreds:

• Did you hear about Icy Lake Chipeta and the friends who plunged in for a deep swim? Who knew cutting an ice hole & jumping in might end badly...
  TITLE: DIVING INTO THE ABYSSAL DEEPS

• HONORABLE MENTION:
  A woman was rescued by fire crews after she fell headfirst into a Porta Potty while trying to retrieve her cellphone.
  TITLE: CHIP IN THE DIP

• Did you hear about the driver mixing/whipping up a protein drink with a shank while driving? Bottle + Knife + Speed = 6-Car Crash and a knife in the chest, fatal.
  TITLE: MULTITASKING GONE WRONG

• SOME SLUSH PILE ITEMS MAKE YOU SAY, HM.
  “Do you think this is too trivial?” the submitter writes. FRENCH NEWS reported the two young artists ‘arting’ a picture in the New York subway, unaware that the tunnel IS primarily a site for trains…

• and hundreds more...

• SUBMIT YOUR INCIDENT REPORT HERE
  We welcome your submissions. Submitted by fans, curated by the Moderators, VOTE ranked by readers, and then skimming the cream is Darwin Wendy who writes and archives the Darwin Awards.

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‘Website Like It’s1999’

‘Website Like Its 2022’

darwin 21084 Dec 16  2018 TAGS
darwin  1079 Sep 26  2014 wtf.pl*
darwin 10833 Dec 16  2018 the-gui.pl*
darwin 33174 Feb 15 10:36 mod-library.pl*
darwin 21963 Feb 25 17:21 mod-this.pl*
darwin  8942 Jan 29 16:10 submit_incident_report.pl*

Slush Pile Remix is underway, and you are invited under the covers to see what’s going on there. Inspect our level-up-in-progress by reading slush, voting on slush, and submitting slush bug reports on this thread. Also I would like to coach two new moderators: comment if you are interested. More community features are coming this year, and hopefully we can integrate with /r/DarwinAwards/ and facebook/TheDarwinAwards and etcetera.

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About Your Subscription:

<The SubStack interface is quite a hassle.> for instance I cannot weed out bounces, and although it seems maybe kinda possible to see if you have clicked-through an email link, in honesty that is glitchy.

The only way SubStack will let me know you are reading, is if you actually make a comment or ‘heart’ a post. Do that ONCE—sorry 4 the hassle—to signal you want to stay on this list.

At some point I will need to delete everyone who seems like they might be a bounce, because in innumerable ways </The Substack Interface is quite a hassle.>

Although beautiful in a Bootstrappy way, nice editor, easy-click Getty images:

1. Greg’s claim to Darwin Awards fame is the Book 4 dedication, ‘This one’s for you, babe.’