Darwin Awards: Newsletter
June 2022 - Dive into the pool...of red wine.
Honorable Mentions
The Darwin Awards has two (2) main sections—DA Winners, and Honorable Mentions—the kinder gentler section of near-miss events. While cleaning up HTML in the Honorable Mention section, we dusted off some great near-misses! (purists, we’ll cover new Darwin Awards in next week’s email).
Wine For The Road
On Cinco de Mayo 2020, a stunning video captured a barely-dressed man driving a beat-up little car, who flagged a wine tanker off the road. Thinking “a mechanical problem?” the trucker pulled onto the verge—only to see the funny half-naked troll scamper past his window. <shrug> He pulled back into the flow of traffic, but the troll had already climbed onto a ladder, scooted beneath the wine tank, opened a valve, and was glugging red wine while flying down the highway! Thousands of gallons painted Highway 99—let us mourn the loss.
Just too funny, and look—it was barely six weeks into The Pandemic just before things went sideways! Check out the full story—Watch the video—Hear the Highway Patrol reaction!
Train Surfer — ‘Complete Utter Reckless Idiot’
April 2018 || Perth Australia has a great transit system, Transperth, and best of all it crosses the Swan River. Riders can enjoy the lovely view, or—in an escapade captured on video—riders might opt to...
climb out a window onto the top of a train moving 100-kph,
remain atop the train for 1.5 kilometers,
jauntily wave at the camera while coming perilously close to 25,000-volt power lines,
leap toward the blue Swan River ten meters below,
hit the water at a high velocity angle,
and land heart-stopping meters from a large cement pile!
Called a “Reckless IDIOT” by a news broadcaster, deemed a “Complete Utter Bloody IDIOT” by the irate Premier Mark McGowan, labeled “Extremely Dangerous” by the Police Minister, the mystery perpetrator realized he had to come forward.
The adrenaline junkie apologized and revealed his wild reason for risking life and limb: He conceived and executed the dangerous stunt because 'there's nothing to do in Perth'. Watch the video here.
Honorable Mentions also include personal accounts.
Marie-Eve writes: I would like to submit a friend's accident to the Darwin Awards Supreme Court. He doesn't deserve First Prize, but hopefully could reach the level of special mention. David broke his arm because he fell on a dog, which is already quite silly. The hospital applied a resin cast, and that same evening he went to a party and—after a few hours—his cast was customized with imaginative pornographic drawings… (read more)
DO SAY GAY
Wendy “Darwin” Northcutt celebrates PRIDE Month and the colorful friends of the PRIDE movement whose pushback against the dominant paradigm reminds us that sexual orientation has always been a personal choice. Gay Pride adds joy to the world! The White House Press Release
Alarming news, however. We have no knowledge of any LGBTQIA+ Darwin Award Winners or Honorable Mentions. To promote inclusivity, we invite you to
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.!!! At least he got a swim. Yes I WANT to get the Darwin Awards Newsletter! Jody Fitterer